Standing Strong

As I sat down to write this evening, I was sure that I was going to have a great message to talk about.  Instead, I have ended up with a blank brain.  So, instead of writing about how awful my week was, and how everything went oh so wrong, I'm going to sit here and explain how my week went, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Everything started on Saturday when Adam came home from work and woke me telling me that our van had been vandalized sometime between 6:00 Friday night and 8:00 Saturday morning.  Yes, our van was one of the 12 that had it's windows smashed in.

Monday night, someone decided to run a red light and ended up colliding into my new car that we just purchased in April.  Our niece Allie has been staying with us while she goes to school in Augusta, and her and Molly ventured out to Target, and ended up in an accident.  And, the weird part about this whole thing is that not one ounce of me is upset that some one else's lack of patience totaled our new car.  Yes, our new car has been declared a total loss.  No one was hurt though, that is the amazing part of this whole story.

Wednesday Shylah was supposed to have a follow up appointment with her doctor because she has been dealing with an ear infection and pneumonia.  Well, they scheduled us with the wrong doctor, so that got postponed until Monday.

Last night I left Willow's electric heater running all night, with her door shut and a blanket sleeper on her. Needless to say, she woke up very early this morning sweaty and thirsty.

Today, I worked 1/2 a day and then had the van window replaced.

That was my week at a glance.  How, after all that going on, can I still be o.k. with everything? I'm exhausted, yes, but it makes no sense to sit here and grumble when there is absolutely nothing I can do about it all.  Can't take the baseball bat out the person's hands, I can't make it so the light was still green, or that the nurse had scheduled Shylah with the correct doctor.  And I certainly couldn't change the weather so that it hadn't rained until after the window was replaced in the van.

So, with tired eyes, one less car, and a wet behind, I have figured out that prayer actually DOES work.  I am not one to pray for patience and anyone that knows me knows I believe that the odds of God not giving you the opportunity to be patient is slim to none, and I'm not willing to take that chance. But, when I go to Him just open and fully aware that I need His guidance, understanding, grace, and wisdom, it comes with such abundance that it's over flowing.  I am not saying that I have not raised my voice to my children, because I certainly have tonight, but I am saying that with everything going on, I'm still at peace with it all.

And that is not from my own doing.  I am not one to sit back and let things happen without a good fight, but, I guess I have finally waived the white flag.

I am not strong enough to do this on my own.  When we finally lay it all on our Father, things don't seem as big.  Sure, we are a car short and penny-less, but, we weren't promised perfection in THIS life. And sometimes we can sit and dwell on things while we hang out on our pity pots, or we can go to Him and rejoice that we can actually get off our pity pots and flush.

I am so thankful that I have a great family,  great in-laws, a great group of friends, and most of all, an all knowing, all powerful Father!  He knows how I feel, He knows that I am so at awe about what has happened lately that I look up at Him and ask "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" But, I have to remember that through the struggles, there is a lesson, there is a story, there is a testimony, there is a reason.

So, as big as my struggles feel, there is a God standing right beside me climbing that mountain with me.  Telling me that everything is going to work out, not to worry, He's got my back.  He'll carry me through the nasty swamps and mucky waters.  He'll be my shield in the battle of life.  That through all this, there is bound to be something much greater on the other end.  That no matter what the week looked like, it is just a milli-second of time compared to what I have to look forward to with Him.

I hope you will join me in standing strong with Him during our crazy, undesirable life moments.

Because of Him,
Michelle

Life Got In The Way, Or Did It?!

The above title could mean lots of things.  It could mean that someone has stumbled in life, in addiction, in their job, in their walk with God, in their marriage, with their finances, with their health.  There are so many possibilities that the words "life got in the way" could reference.  In the case I am making tonight, it means just as it reads life got in the way.

Why does it always seem as though life interrupts everything?  School, work, time with loved ones, personal time for yourself, time with friends? Why is the reason for failing to follow through with a commitment that you have contracted with yourself or someone else always "well, you know life got in the way?"  I use that expression as though it lived in the same house as me.  As though it sits down with my family at the dining room table for dinner. Well, you know I couldn't make it to the gym because life got in the way; I'm sorry I didn't call you back when I said I would, life got in the way and I forgot;  I know I was supposed to have a girls' day with you but, life got in the way.  This may sound harsh, but WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN???

As I pondered this just this very minute, it came to me that it is in fact an excuse I use when I've screwed up.  When I don't want to own up to the decisions I have made.  In fact, the reason I haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks, isn't because life got in the way, it's because I've been to lazy to go.  There, I said it.  It stung just a little bit, not nearly as much as I thought it would.  I didn't call you back because when I said I was, I didn't make a mental note that if I didn't call you it might hurt your feelings. I haven't gone on a girls' day because I fill my calendar up way to full, and didn't realize how much you need time away.  I didn't read my Bible, or get on my knees to pray in the past month because I didn't make it a priority.  I put my selfishness in front of all the things that really matter.

Judge Judy doesn't care if I watch her or not, her feelings aren't going to get hurt if I forget to call her.  However, my dear friend's feeling may get hurt if they are looking forward to our conversation.  The person who is struggling may so desperately need a girls' night, or even just a cup of coffee and a shoulder to lean on just to get through another day.

I am so guilty of my excuse life just got in the way, that I've been leaning on that as my way to ignore or surpass the things that really matter.

My life gets so much better when I go to the Lord in prayer, open my Bible and study His word and what He is trying to say to me.  My life gets so much fuller when I can reach out to those in need, especially if they don't know Him, or are coming back to Him, or are trying to get to know Him. My life is so much better when I chase my kids around the house instead of plopping down on the couch when I get home from work.  My life is so much better when I don't let myself get in the way.

My you not get in His way for your life here!

Because of Him,
Michelle

I'll Be Out On The Front Steps!

I've done it again! I have 9, yes you read that right NINE children at my house tonight all ages 11 and under.  With 1 adult to supervise the whole meeting.  That one adult would be me!  What was I thinking?  I'm not sure that I was.  But on a serious note, I love each and everyone of these children that I have in my home.  They are all friends, and they all have their own idiosyncrasies that make each of them unique and for some reason they all work.

Now, when Shylah & Molly found out that we were going to have company tonight, and that they were going to have other people to play with besides each other, something happens to them.  They get all excited, they can't contain their emotions and they each have a smile from ear to ear.  Why is that?

Why is it that kids get all excited to have some one to play with, talk to, spend time with, and share secrets with?  Is it because they know what joy really is? Is it because they love sharing their time with people that understand them? Is it because they have a special connection that makes it so exciting to be together?

What about adult girlfriends, or ladies Bible studies, or a girls' night out.  What makes us so happy about getting together with our girl friends that we are absolutely gitty and so unbelievably disappointed if the plans fall through?  Is it because we miss that bonding time, is it because we miss the deep, genuine talks?  Is it because we can tell our friends exactly how we feel about something, and feelings aren't hurt, because we know that it is said out of love for the other person?  I love it when me and a couple of my friends get together and we can just sit and talk to each other from the heart.

I am sure God put our friends in our lives for this purpose, for our friends to fill our hearts and speak to us truthfully about life.   What if we ran to God with the excitement that we have when we are getting together with our friends, if we ran to God with open arms, so excited to talk to him that we couldn't stop smiling.  That we told God how we were really feeling, but knowing that His feelings weren't getting hurt because we were speaking to Him in love.  Or, if it was the other way around, if we heard what God was saying to us, and even if we didn't like it, we knew that it was all out of His love for us.

Don't you think that God wants us to be so excited to see Him, and talk to Him, and pour out our hearts to Him that we can hardly contain ourselves?

Maybe we need to be more like the 9 children that are tearing my house apart right now.  Maybe we need to be so excited to spend time with our Father that we can't wait another minute.  Can you imagine how close we would become to our greatest friend?  Can you imagine how full our hearts would be?  How big our smiles would be?

So, as I finish this, I'm hearing the team work, and the giggles, and the excitement of friends being together.  Even if I'm out numbered.  Even if I will be deaf in the morning, or out of sugary snacks.

The bond that these kids are forming are hopefully going to be for a lifetime.  Just like our bond with our Heavenly Father will be for an eternal lifetime!

So, while these kids are turning my house upside down, I will be out on the front steps, taking it all in.

Because of Him,
Michelle

Taking A Moment

Today I'm exhausted! Work stresses me out, and sends my blood pressure through the roof.  I always said that I would never be a stay at home mom, but it's got to be easier than working AND being a mom...Right? I know right now, there is no feasible way for me to stay home and be with my kids, maybe that will happen when they are all in school.  Oh that would almost be heaven.

A whole day without children.  Oh what would I do with my time?  Maybe my laundry would always be done, and the sink empty.  Maybe the laundry that was done would actually be put away in the drawers they belonged in.  Maybe my shower would be white, and not beige with a hint of brown.  Maybe you could walk on my floors with out your feet turning black.  Maybe supper would always be on time, and the fridge would never be empty.  Oh what a wonderful world that would be.

But, is God using me to witness to those I work with, whether my job stresses me out or not?  I'm sure He is.  Actually, I KNOW He is. My attitude during the day and how I handle those who rub me the wrong way, and talk nonsense about me is a reflection on how close my walk with God really is.  If I cuss them out and talk bad about them behind their backs, and whisper and gossip, that is not only a horrible reflection on me, but of my Father.   He has taught me better than that, and I need to remember that always; no matter where I am.

Even though I came home tonight wishing that I had called in sick, I had to change modes and enter the Mommy mode.  The mode where needy, and some unhappy patients turned into whining and fussing children.  Where mouths full of cavities turned into a bloody nose.  Where insurance frustrations turned into obeying problems.

As tired as I am, eyes burning, longing for the moment that I can put on my pajamas and put my head on my pillow, We, as a family sat down to eat dinner at the table, went outside to play stuck in the mud in the pitch black, and read my girls stories before they went to bed.  Just because my day was a total disaster, doesn't mean that I can't take that moment to let my kids know how very much they are loved.  And just to hear them squealing and laughing running around the backyard, makes my heart so giddy, that my worries from work earlier today don't seem to quite matter as much.  And, it doesn't really matter if my feet turn black inside the house, my kids didn't seem to care.

Take a moment to clear your head from work, the nasty cashier at the check out line, or the car that totally cut you off on the interstate.  Take a moment to remember that our day couldn't have been worse than the pain that our Father went through to give us this life that we are supposed to be living for Him.

Take a moment to remember that we are our children's role models, that we shape who they will become.  Just think, if they see us taking a moment to go to God and ask for help throughout the day, or they see us getting frustrated, but taking a moment to make good out of bad, they will model what they are shown.  Who cares if the dishes are done, or the laundry put away, or if you work at a job, or work at home? No matter what we do, we need to take a moment and remember that we're supposed to do it all for Him!

Because of Him,
Michelle

When the Time is Right

Well all, it's been a few weeks since I've last written.  Okay, maybe a month or so.  Either way, it's been too long.  Since we last chatted, we have gone on vacation, Shylah has turned 6, Adam has worked too many hours, my 5K is done and over with (with a time of 54 min, but I finished), we have had some renovations done to the house, thanks to some great friends, and my girls have run me ragged.

I am not one that asks for help much, and Adam is even more stubborn that I am in that regards.  However, I am an open book and I often spill too much of my life story than anyone really wants to know.  I can do many things well, but often take on way to much for me to handle.  I overwhelm myself with trying to be in 5 places at once, have a to-do list a few miles long, and am so rundown, that I would just love to stay in bed for a day to re-coup.

But, anyway, back to asking for help.  We often struggle with asking our friends, family, co-workers, bosses, fellow church members for help.  WHY?!  Didn't God put them in our path so we could be a blessing to them, and vise versa? And, on that note didn't God say to come to Him in prayer with all of our needs and they would be heard? Didn't God say that He would take care of us, in all aspects of our life?

Doesn't God want us to rely on Him for our everyday troubles? Our everyday hurts? Our everyday needs? And in return all He asks for is the glory?

Well friends, I am guilty of not asking for help, for not having a conversation with my biggest fan, for not pouring my entire heart out to Him. I am guilty of only giving Him the pieces that I WANT help with.  Not necessarily what I NEED help with.

Remember, I am not giving advise, and am in no way saying I'm an expert. I am simply writing my thoughts and tribulations down on paper (maybe not paper to be exact) in hopes that maybe one of my readers is going through the very same thing.  That my life may be an insight to what is happening with your life as well.

So, I am challenging all of us, to put down our walls, lower our pride, and ask for help.  Not just for things we want, but even things we know will be a struggle to obtain.  Will you walk along with me in this venture?  So when the time is right, we can help others who may ask for it, or who may not know they need help.

Because of Him,
Michelle

A Laundry Pile a Mile High

Yes, I know it's been a while.  Life has been piling up; kinda like the laundry that I have going on my dining room table.  Yes, you read correctly I have piles of clean, folded laundry on my dining room table.

As I was folding all this laundry, which I don't believe all of it was dirty, I was singing along to the ipod and thinking how many times do we let things pile up?.

Take for instance we let dishes pile up until there are no more spoons.  We let laundry pile up until we no longer have any clean under ware.  The trash, we let that pile up until the bag rips from stuff being shoved into it.  We let bills pile up until we get that phone call that it is past due, or there is no water to do all that laundry with.

Don't we do that with everyday life too?  We let all the little things that bother us about people pile up.  We let things that hurt us pile up, we let worry pile up until we have ulcers.  We let petty things bother us, until eventually we explode.  Just like our laundry, or trash, or bills.  Then it feels as though nothing can be done right by anybody.  Our children seem to know when we have reached our boiling point and can sense that the explosion is going to happen very soon.

They know that if they whine just a little more, or disobey one more time, or fight with each other, then Mom is going to put on a show.

What if instead of letting things pile up, we took every little thing to God in prayer?  What if we asked for help with time management so things wouldn't pile up?  What if we asked God for insight on how to deal with those petty things that don't really matter anyways?  I think if we did this maybe the whining and the disobeying, and the arguing wouldn't be that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.  I think we would be able to keep our house picked up and laundry done so we have skivvies to wear.

And isn't that what God wants, he wants us to have a relationship with Him.  Don't we complain to our friends about things like the house and the kids and our jobs?  Why wouldn't we go to God then?  As the song goes:  I am a friend of God, He calls me friend.

Hello God,
I know that you know that I have a lot on my mind right now, and I really need to talk to you for a minute.  I may think it's petty and small, but small things add up to huge pile, and I don't want to explode.  So here goes.

I hope you all find the time to go through your piles and give them to God.

Because of Him,
Michelle

Training for a 5K

Well good afternoon all!  We have big news in our home today! Adam and I have officially started training for a 5K.  For those of you who do not know, that is 3.1 miles.  YIKES!  Now, as some of you know we've been walking that for a while now.  Running it is a totally different story.  I don't care if I win, it's not about the prize, I'm more worried about failing.  So, in order to do my best at not failing, I have started to train for it.  Adam has decided to jump on board with me.  Let's just get one thing straight, I DO NOT RUN!  He he.  When I met Adam, he ran for miles a day.  NOT ME!

As I was running on the treadmill today, it crossed my mind how awful it would be to register and start this race to never finish it.  A big ol' failure.

How can this be brought into parenting?  Well, God gives us a set of training tools...the Bible.  We can toss it aside and just go at our own pace, thinking we know how to train our kids, and ourselves.  Getting to the finish line when we feel like it.
We can read bits of pieces of it pulling out certain aspects in hopes of getting the jiff of it.  Opening it up when we need a hand.
Or, we can read, apply, and train our minds and bodies in accordance to His training rules.

The same goes to running any race, not just a 5K.  If you take the tools that are set before you, study them, apply them, in the end reaching the goal that you wanted to accomplish.  So, not only am I training to run the UMA 5K in September, I'm training to be a servant of God.  Training my children to live lives that please the Lord.  Honoring Him, loving Him, and applying His commands to my race; and theirs.  And in the end being a winner no matter what number we come in.

May you all enjoy training your children for the race of Life.

Because of Him,
Michelle